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Agony | Fear | Acceptance; Passing of my Dad
September 1st, 2001
I knew my Dad as well as he would allow me to. He worked long days and would sit and drink in a parking lot or bar til late in the evening. He rarely expressed much in terms of a passions, pursuits, or dreams. It was that aspect missing from his life I felt regret for on his behalf when he passed. Swimming With The Gleaners: represents the anger, agony, and torment I feel he must have felt while playing his 'role' as bread winner in our household, bottling up decades of emotion. Drowning in and ocean of silent self pity with no other outlet, no desire to seek one out, and no idea where to begin to look for one.
Lost & Foundry: represents my fear. The feeling of fear that washes over you and makes your palms sweat when your young in a grocery store and you lose sight of your parents as they have gone to the next isle while you were preoccupied with something else. You don't want to panic around these strangers and attract their attention. You glance around in all directions analyzing face after face while your heart races. The fear and panic mold you into something stronger and less careless.
Kaffee Klatsch; brings us to a resolution. A son meets his father at the scene where their lives diverged. Appropriately, on an interstate overpass. Two souls forever attempting to come to terms with a situation over a simple cup of gas station coffee. Reliving and replaying the scene over and over only to realize, there isn't any missing puzzle piece. No changing it. Just a visit with a location where unpursued passions and a young man's fears go to die.